The Unmistakable Footprint of God

There is so much that I want to share about the three days leading up to and after Lydia's delivery.   With genuine delight I keep saying, "It couldn't have been more perfect."  I'm telling you it couldn't have been.  There's a part of me that knows that I sound completely mentally unstable when I speak so positively about this tragic loss in our lives.  But I assure you we cry and we recognize there is nothing easy about this experience.  I will share some of the harder stuff in time.   But there is one story that needs to be written now.

This story I will tell now because it is the one that I have relayed so many times in the past 24 hours (because it is simply that unbelievable) that I don't even want to hear myself tell it again.  I'm hoping if I write it, I can just refer people here to read about it.  But I'm sure I'll continue to tell it.  I hope as you read it you can plainly see the footprint of God because He most certainly stepped into this story from before the beginning to the end.  And I am just giddy about how clearly I can see it.   Here goes:

Three years ago, we were stationed in Gulfport, MS.  From there he was deployed to Japan.  We decided it made the most sense for me and the kids to move home to Pennsylvania with my parents for the 7 month deployment. 

Shortly after settling in Edinboro I enrolled Hannah in a pre-school program.  The first day of school Hannah's teacher (Amy) met us at the door with a Navy sweatshirt on.  Hannah could read at the time so she said, "Mommy, her sweatshirt says Navy." She looked at her teacher and said, "My daddy is in the Navy." 

Her teacher smiled and said, "My husband is in the Navy, too!" 

Hannah said, "My daddy is deployed." 

She shook her head with understanding sadness and said, "My husband is deployed, too."

I found this odd since there is no Naval base near Edinboro.  So I asked her where she and her husband were stationed.  She told me they were stationed in Gulfport, MS.  Gulfport's base is a seabee base and is very small compared to most any other military base.  This is already truly unbelievable.  So I asked her if her husband was deployed to Japan and she said yes.  Our husbands were in the same battalion of about 300 seabees, both deployed to the other side of the world and this young woman and I were both back in the same small town with our children staying with our parents.  Unbelievable.

Okay, that was the heel part of the footprint.  Here is the middle:

Amy and I spent some time together over those seven months when we could get away with the kiddos, but when we got back to Gulfport after the deployment we ran in different circles so our paths didn't cross much.  But sometime after we had been in Gulfport, Amy called me crying one evening and shared that her baby that she had been carrying had been diagnosed with Turner's syndrome and they weren't expecting her to live.  She remembered my blankets and asked me to make a blanket for her with her name, Faith, on it and pray for her.  Of course I said yes, made it for her, took it to her and prayed over her and Faith.  That was the last time I spoke with Amy as I remember it.

--Given that Turner's syndrome is Lydia's diagnosis (as far as we know until we get an autopsy report) and Turner's syndrome as the cause of miscarriage past 13 weeks is extremely rare, this is just too much to be coincidence. 

Several weeks ago when we were given our diagnosis I remembered Amy's story.  It took me a week to get up the courage to call Amy because I hadn't spoken to her in so long.  I had never checked on her afterward and felt guilty about it, and I was not completely sure I could handle the pain of someone else's trial on top of my own.  But it came to a point when I knew I wanted to know more.  So I decided I'd try to call her.  Keep in mind I have switched phones three times and lost many contacts since Amy and I had been in contact.  I checked my phone not expecting to find her number.  Sure enough it was in there.  One of the first contacts.  I dialed.  I don't remember whether I was crying or what my message said, but I probably tearfully informed her of our current diagnosis and asked if she was up for talking about her experience.  I received a text back within minutes telling me that she would call as soon as she could.

Amy was just what I needed when I needed it.  She was authentic and unguarded and loving and compassionate.  She walked me through her entire experience making sure not to miss the parts that were the biggest surprises to her that she wished she would have known in advance.  She prepared me for what a baby looks like at that stage of development.  She told me about the astoundingly small size of the caskets (something I have yet to see).  She told me about the insurance that helps cover the burial--something that I hadn't thought of yet, but left me without ever having to worry about a financial burden.  A total blessing.  Amy was one of the greatest gifts God gave me in this.

She shared how they remember Faith every year by having cake and releasing a balloon in her memory.

Amy walked her road by herself without anyone to guide her down it.  The Lord allowed my burden to be lightened by the burden she had already carried.  I will forever be grateful to God for the support he gave me in her.

Here come the toes.  Friends, this is amazing!

Tuesday afternoon, August 14th, the day before Lydia was born, when the doctor informed us that the baby's heart was no longer beating and that it was time to be admitted for induction, I texted many people.  As we approached the hospital I texted Amy.

Me: Lydia is with Jesus.  Please keep the delivery in your prayers.  This next phase feels crazy.  Heading to the hospital in a bit.

Amy: Thank you for letting me know...it's going to be crazy!  I'm praying for you guys and PLEASE let me know if I can do ANYTHING!!! ...I'm so sorry you have to go through this...my heart is hurting so badly right now.  my daughter's 3rd birthday is tomorrow so they can share a birthday month!  Call me if you need to talk at the hospital or anything.

Did you catch that?  Her baby who died at 24 weeks gestation from Turner's syndrome was delivered on the 15th of August.   I went into the hospital on the 14th of August.  I labored for 36 hours and delivered Lydia on August 15th three years later, I kid you not, exactly the moment that this picture text came in from her:

--And there are the toes.

Three years ago, before anyone could have guessed what lay ahead, God was drawing up the footprint that he would undeniably leave on my story so that no one could deny that He wrote it. 

It is common for Christians to say that there is no pain that you can experience on this earth that Christ didn't experience, too.  Well, technically there might be.   But God put someone else on this earth who walked an exactly parallel path.  And on the morning of the 16th when the hospital couldn't tell me how they would transport the body to the different places it needed to go and transport the body for burial, I could call Amy and she knew exactly what to do.  She had to do all of the exact same things.  Because her family is still in the military and stationed in Mississippi, she also buried her daughter Faith about 20 miles down the road from where Lydia will lie in Northwestern Pennsylvania.

I'm so thankful for you, Amy.  I will remember you and Faith and the role God chose you to play in my life every August 15th and I will give thanks for faith and grace.  And Faith and Lydia Grace.